Archive for commitment
Learning Discipline – Is It Really So Bad?
Posted by: | CommentsThis morning I found myself thinking about the nature of discipline after reading two different views about how often to publish blog posts. One recommends publishing only when you have something to say and the other suggests writing at regular intervals. The latter is Chris Guillibeau’s preference who says “Set a schedule and never miss a post . . . this isn’t so much about the readership–most people would forgive me if I missed a day, and many wouldn’t even notice. Instead, it’s about SELF-DISCIPLINE”.
Now those of you who have been around a while will remember that on my return from Phoenix, I intended to publish a blog post every day. I didn’t do so for long and so was wondering whether or not Chris’s approach might be a useful one for me to follow. But there’s something about the word ‘discipline’ that leaves me cold.
Whenever I read something that suggests I practice discipline, I find myself silently screaming “No, no. Don’t make me do it. I want to do it my way”. No wonder I don’t like it. The story I tell about discipline is that it is a form of coercion. Something demanded from the outside that necessitates doing it someone else’s way.
It’s a story I suspect, that’s a hangover from school days when the teachers seemed all powerful and from childhood in general when parents or other adults were in control. Discipline conjures up having to tidy my room, do my piano practice or something connected with the PE instructor on the parade ground. And I am obviously not alone. If you look in Google at the most common searches people carry out, that contain the word “discipline”, you will find that of the 200 most popular, way over half (I stopped counting at 100) relate to children, kids, toddlers, teachers, parents, classrooms, schools etc. No wonder the idea has such negative connotations.
But I am no longer a child and am free to choose a new view. I can make it an internal choice now rather than an external command.
However, writing a blog post everyday wasn’t a goal that was connected to something I really wanted. It was a goal I made for it’s own sake. But I DO want to get better at writing. I want to discover more of what I have to say. Writing helps me clarify my thoughts and make adjustments to how I approach things. I hope I will inspire others to think about things differently too and to experiment with other ways of being and doing things.
So rather than try to be disciplined and only post when I have something to say, or set a schedule and never miss a post, or make a post everyday, I would rather put my energy into practising the craft and spend at least 15 minutes a day writing something – anything. Doesn’t matter. Just get my pen on paper. That’s a discipline that’s worth learning for me.
As Steve Chandler would say – “Discipline is remembering what you want”.
Waiting For Magic
Posted by: | CommentsTuesday felt like a good day. I made my commitment to my project and moved from one thing to the next and it all seemed to fall into place. Since then I’ve been spinning my wheels, waiting passively for something external to move me onto the next thing. Waiting for magic.
I’ve been thinking, it’s a bit ironic that I’m saying I’m committed to creating a workshop about what to do when you don’t know what you want, and here I am, not being able to identify, in the moment what it is I want to do, and getting very stuck in that. Perfect, of course.
One of the ideas I want to get across is that everything you need is in your life right now. So, if I apply that idea to my life what do I see? What opportunities have I been missing while I’ve been waiting for something else to jump up and bite me on the bum?
Remember, I’ve taken advantage of the cosmic hint to write an invitation letter (described in my post about little struggles), and then got hung up because I couldn’t seem to finish it. Then the waiting started. I’ve been making a note of the 30 day challenge “homework” but haven’t taken any action related to it, because I didn’t know what to do. And then it struck me, I didn’t know what to do next because I didn’t have a plan.
OMG The “P” word.
And then the s**t really hit the fan and I came face to face with the truth that is my fear of running this coaching programme. Having a plan suddenly makes it real.
I’d forgotten the difference between intention and commitment and how “You’re not really committed until you’ve proved it by putting in place a supporting structure. Until you do, anything you think you want remains an intention without the power of true commitment and, consequently, is unlikely to materialise.”
So, now I have a choice, do I want to stay stuck and pretend to be playing the game or will I take the next step and create a plan? I choose to re-engage in my project and create a plan. So, once again, I reset my commitment to enrol 10 people on my 6 month coaching programme called – ‘When You Don’t Know What You Want – Make It Up!’.
28 Day Challenge
Posted by: | CommentsThere’s 28 days until I fly back to Phoenix and to the final weekend of The Coaching School and I want to draw together all that I’ve leaned so far and set myself a new challenge.
When I got back to the UK in July I was creative, brave and playful. And high energy. I followed the twists and turns of my process through the Coaching School, sometimes feeling low and others excited and then landed, most recently, in a place of giving up trying to make things happen. Here I found a lot more peace and a deal of appreciation for what I already have. But I also felt reactive rather than in charge. So now I’m going to experiment with combining the two.
I want the energy of playing big combined with the peace of living in the moment. I want commitment to a goal but without attachment. I want to live from no history. Just today – anew! Just me and My Way. Whatever this game of life is or isn’t, I’m going to play My Game by My Rules.
To give me some structure to make this easier I’m going to do Michael Neill’s Creating the Impossible Challenge again. That way I will have a focus each day so, if I get stuck, I can more easily get moving again.
These are My rules:
- I will not struggle nor suffer.
- If it’s not fun I will find a way to make it fun or not do it.
- I will not care what others think of me.
My Impossible Goal is:
To enrol 10 people on my 6 month coaching programme called – ‘When You Don’t Know What You Want – Make It Up!’
That seems pretty impossible from here since the programme doesn’t exist yet. So it’a a good choice.
Part of the challenge is to take 100 steps towards your impossible goal so this is Step 2 – announcing my commitment on my blog. Step 1 was announcing my commitment to the Coaching School group.
Expect more soon . . .
I Crack Myself Up
Posted by: | CommentsI crack myself up sometimes. (For those non native English speakers a rough translation is – I laugh uproariously at myself).
I started yesterday raring to go. Spent hours writing a blog post as I developed my thoughts around the topic. Published it. Read something that seemed to contradict what I’d written. Came home for lunch and started feeling flat. Couldn’t work out why. Felt very wobbly about the post so took it down. Felt pissed off that I was feeling down again.
Woke up this morning and watched my mind create a story about how hopeless it all was. Decided I needed to go to a workshop that is being held locally at the weekend which didn’t feel good cuz that was coming from a place of needing to fix myself. Noticed my negative thoughts were mostly around commitment. Looked at my life right now to see what I was committed to and then – ah, ha! I’d been assuming that once I committed to something that that would be it.
I am committed to change, to enjoying my life, to discovering more of the mystery, to being a “better” person etc. I can see that because that is what I’m spending my time doing. But when I committed to consciously investigating whether or not I can create something concrete in my external world I expected that to be the end of it. No doubts, no back-tracking just clarity from here on in. A nice bit of black and white that would lead to “yes I can” or “no I can’t”. Well, seems that’s not how it is so I’ve put the post back up, picked myself up and recommitted to the project from a place of curiosity and “I wonder”.
Don’t Go Back To Sleep
Posted by: | CommentsMy post today is a poem by Rumi. (Thanks to my coach Steve Chandler for introducing it to me). The words are particularly apt because I’ve realised that this last week, although having moments when I was wide awake, I’ve spent much of the time asleep.
I started to fall back into my old numbing routine – way too much time in front of the computer, no walks by the sea and, horror of horrors, I had a mindless television watching session on Saturday night.
When I examine my week I see that apart from when I was coaching, or otherwise engaged with others, I felt dissatisfied. And I notice that there are 2 things gnawing at me that won’t go away:
1. Exercise – or lack there of! Some of the things I want to do in my life simply can’t be done at my current level of fitness (hike to Everest Base Camp for example) and I could definately do with more energy. So I am now making a commitment to improving my overall fitness. I will return to walking everyday as my place to start.
2. Stepping Out more in Creating my Coaching Practice. I think I am still a bit in hiding, waiting for my blog to build my practice. No doubt it can be done this way but it is a slow strategy and I want to coach more now. I need to fearlessly consider how I can go about creating that. One idea is to run some mini-workshops in the evening . . .
Anyway, here is the poem I mentioned:
Today, like every other day, we wake up empty
and frightened. Don’t open the door to the study
and begin reading. Take down a musical instrument.
Let the beauty we love be what we do.
There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.
The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.
Don’t go back to sleep.
You must ask for what you really want.
Don’t go back to sleep.
People are going back and forth across the doorsill
where the two worlds touch.
The door is round and open.
Don’t go back to sleep.
Rumi
My commitment to myself today is this: “I will stay awake”!

