Archive for commitment
I Crack Myself Up
Posted by: | CommentsI crack myself up sometimes. (For those non native English speakers a rough translation is – I laugh uproariously at myself).
I started yesterday raring to go. Spent hours writing a blog post as I developed my thoughts around the topic. Published it. Read something that seemed to contradict what I’d written. Came home for lunch and started feeling flat. Couldn’t work out why. Felt very wobbly about the post so took it down. Felt pissed off that I was feeling down again.
Woke up this morning and watched my mind create a story about how hopeless it all was. Decided I needed to go to a workshop that is being held locally at the weekend which didn’t feel good cuz that was coming from a place of needing to fix myself. Noticed my negative thoughts were mostly around commitment. Looked at my life right now to see what I was committed to and then – ah, ha! I’d been assuming that once I committed to something that that would be it.
I am committed to change, to enjoying my life, to discovering more of the mystery, to being a “better” person etc. I can see that because that is what I’m spending my time doing. But when I committed to consciously investigating whether or not I can create something concrete in my external world I expected that to be the end of it. No doubts, no back-tracking just clarity from here on in. A nice bit of black and white that would lead to “yes I can” or “no I can’t”. Well, seems that’s not how it is so I’ve put the post back up, picked myself up and recommitted to the project from a place of curiosity and “I wonder”.
Don’t Go Back To Sleep
Posted by: | CommentsMy post today is a poem by Rumi. (Thanks to my coach Steve Chandler for introducing it to me). The words are particularly apt because I’ve realised that this last week, although having moments when I was wide awake, I’ve spent much of the time asleep.
I started to fall back into my old numbing routine – way too much time in front of the computer, no walks by the sea and, horror of horrors, I had a mindless television watching session on Saturday night.
When I examine my week I see that apart from when I was coaching, or otherwise engaged with others, I felt dissatisfied. And I notice that there are 2 things gnawing at me that won’t go away:
1. Exercise – or lack there of! Some of the things I want to do in my life simply can’t be done at my current level of fitness (hike to Everest Base Camp for example) and I could definately do with more energy. So I am now making a commitment to improving my overall fitness. I will return to walking everyday as my place to start.
2. Stepping Out more in Creating my Coaching Practice. I think I am still a bit in hiding, waiting for my blog to build my practice. No doubt it can be done this way but it is a slow strategy and I want to coach more now. I need to fearlessly consider how I can go about creating that. One idea is to run some mini-workshops in the evening . . .
Anyway, here is the poem I mentioned:
Today, like every other day, we wake up empty
and frightened. Don’t open the door to the study
and begin reading. Take down a musical instrument.
Let the beauty we love be what we do.
There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.
The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.
Don’t go back to sleep.
You must ask for what you really want.
Don’t go back to sleep.
People are going back and forth across the doorsill
where the two worlds touch.
The door is round and open.
Don’t go back to sleep.
Rumi
My commitment to myself today is this: “I will stay awake”!
Progress Report – June
Posted by: | CommentsIt’s been over a month since I started this blog so I thought it would be a good time to take a look back and see how things are progressing. Right from my initial post on May 7th, I’ve been writing to try and get clearer about what I want to do next and about what I could build a business around. Also, back in that original post I was wondering to what extent I was willing to “go public”.
Well the latter question has at least been answered. Over the last few days I’ve decided I’m ready to “come out of hiding” so have started adding my blog to the blog directories and will write some articles for the article directories, when I have time.
In relation to the question of what I want to do next, I’m beginning to move in the direction of restarting my coaching practice. I’m not totally sure at this point but am hoping to be clearer about that by this evening. More on that later . . .
Overall, my mood has improved considerably and I put that down to truly making a commitment to change. See my intention versis commitment post for more on this as this is a critical breakthrough. But that breakthrough only came about because I followed through on putting the strategies in place I described in my post – the trick is to get out of bed.
In the post do what you love I stated that I was going to put myself in front of as many opportunities as possible and I’m pleased with my progress on this. I went to the Mike Southon talk, even though I didn’t feel I had the energy and that resulted in my being offered a mentoring session by him at a later date, I’ve stopped watching television mindlessly and I’ve joined Club Fearless which led to the unexpected bonus of my having a coaching session with Michelle Pippin this afternoon. With her help I hope to get clearer about whether or not to restart my coaching practice.
Most importantly, perhaps, I’m beginning to reconnect with some of the fundamentals that make life exciting again. Hoorah!
So, where I am currently is . . . Committed to making changes in my life . . . which are evidenced by:
1. Writing a blog post every week day to help me stay aware of the process, learn new things and share them.
2. Taking advantage of opportunities that present themselves to me even when they take me outside my comfort zone.
3. Replacing mindlessly watching television with consciousess, more inspiring choices about how I spend my time.
4. Going for a walk every day.
5. Taking a step each day to further publicise my blog.
6. Listening to/reading inspiring stuff each day, especially if my mood starts to drop or I start to get scared.
Please feel free to comment and share your own list of things you’re committed to. You’d be surprised how powerful “going public” can be.
Intention versus Commitment
Posted by: | CommentsIt’s easy to confuse intention and commitment. It’s often easier to want something than to actually get it. I’ve seen this time and time again both in myself and in my coaching clients. We say we want something but then don’t even begin to do what’s necessary to make it happen. A couple of reasons for this are:
What we say we want is not really what we’re after
What we’re really after is the result; what our yearnings would bring us, rather than the thing itself. We might say we want to earn 100K per year. But the 100k is not really what we’re after. What we really want is more freedom to do the things that matter to us, for example. But if we look more deeply we’re likely to discover that some of those things we could be doing right now. We don’t actually need the 100K salary to start them but we’re not doing them. And that’s because . . .
We Are Afraid of Change
We might say we want to earn 100K and that, looking deeper, we want this because we want more freedom. But, because we’re afraid of the change required of us we continue to wait, remain stuck and dream of the things we think we want. This is intention without commitment.
As an example, for a long time now I’ve been feeling disatisfied about my life in general, and about my work in particular. I’ve set many goals aimed at changing things but none have succeeded. I believe that’s because I had the intention to make the change but not the commitment. True change always requires stepping ourside our comfort zones and basically I’ve been saying, I’m disatisfied with my life, I want to make some changes, but I don’t want to experience any discomfort, doubt, failure or fear. Consequently, nothing has changed.
This time, however, I’m truly willing to move forward. Writing this blog is a demonstration of that.
Last week, someone I know, told me they’d been reading this blog and I was mortified. I even blushed! Whereupon another friend asked me why on earth I would write a blog if I didn’t want anyone to read it. The answer is simple. At this point I’m writing for me. But by making my thoughts/story public (even if I’m secretly hoping nobody is reading them) I’m reinforcing my commitment to making changes in my life. I am facing my fear of “being seen”. I am exploring the process of change in order to help me stay committed to it. Also, the element of being witnessed (albeit only a potential for now) makes it more real for me.
I heard an interesting quote on the Women Who Wow website where Michelle Pippin says “True commitment is evidenced by a structure that supports the results that you say you’re committed to”. This blog is a part of that structure. The key point in the quote is the bit: “that you SAY you’re committed to”.
You’re not really committed until you’ve proved it by putting in place a supporting structure. Until you do, anything you think you want remains an intention without the power of true commitment and, consequently, is unlikely to materialise.
What structures have you put in place that take you closer to your dreams?
