Archive for Ed Dale mentoring

Mar
22

What Are You Waiting For?

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I am becoming more and more aware of all the waiting I do in my life.

At the beginning of last week I exchanged a few emails with Ed on the mentoring programme and felt confused as a result. Rather than check out what I understood by them I made assumptions that kept me stuck and waiting for Friday when I was anticipating the week’s webinar would clear things up.

I was right about the clarification but not in the way I’d imagined.

One of the key points of the webinar was to fail in the field rather than in your head. To stop trying to work everything out, in other words, and to stop waiting for perfection. But just to get on with it.

I realised then that what Ed had been saying earlier in the week was not, as I’d thought, to do more research but was instead, to just get on and use the research I’d already done. Because I was looking for perfection and trying hard to get it “right” I was failing in my head and not taking action as a result. So, feeling inspired after the webinar, I just got on with it and put up my new internet marketing coaching website, warts and all. And that got me to thinking how often we fail in our head instead of in the field of life.

When we don’t take action and get out there, all we’ve got are the thoughts in our heads and fears in our bodies. We have no idea if what we imagine would happen is true or not. Without testing our assumptions and taking action we are stuck. Waiting. But what are we waiting for – more money, more time, more motivation, more energy, more courage?

Sitting around waiting for those things, or thinking about them, is never going to attract them to us. We have to create them by taking action.

So, today, ask yourself what you are waiting for. Where are you failing  in your head?

Then, make a decision to go for it anyway, despite your fears, despite not knowing how it will turn out and take immediate action towards it.

Please leave a comment and let us know how you get on.

Categories : Creating My Life
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Mar
12

Past and Future – Here Be Dragons

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I had my first 1 : 1 mentoring session with Ed yesterday. After a tricky start with Ed trying to pin me down to a market and me fighting for ” freedom”, we finally found a way forward.

So, after the call, I settled down to the work and all was well for a couple of hours. Then the nay-sayers in my head started. But, I soldiered on with my work plan.

Then. this morning, the cacophony was so loud my eyes started to get a bit moist!

G I V E   M E   A   B R E A K!

One day into the journey and I’m already questioning myself, doubting my choices, telling tales of failure and thinking about giving up.

Looking to the future holds endless imaginings of danger. Looking to the past reinforces the stories of why “this won’t work”. So I’m staying in the present today.

Doing the next thing.

One step at a time.

Phew. Another crisis averted.

Categories : Creating My Life
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Mar
08

Connecting the Internal to the External

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Continuing the story from my planning from the present and combining past and future posts . . .

The exciting news is . . . I’m in! I’ve been accepted into Ed Dale’s mentoring programme and the first 1 : 1 session is on Thursday.

The first step was to create a pre-start questionnaire which was a little unnerving since a number of the questions didn’t really apply to my situation. I’m feeling a bit nervous about how Ed will view my approach but am also not going to waste any energy worrying about it in advance.

As I said when I applied:

I am fascinated by what makes people “tick” and why some of us are successful and others not etc. etc. AND I am fascinated by technology and the internet. I would love to be able to combine the 2.

That is the area I’m really interested in – where the 2 worlds collide. How can you be successful when it’s not lack of information/a system that’s the problem. It’s your habits/beliefs/behaviours/personality etc? And, can the “you” bit be built into the learning process? How can technology help us do that?

Apart from combining two fields I enjoy working in there is another exploration that’s important to me and that is living from the inside out versus living from the outside in.

My previous attempts at setting up an internet marketing business have been externally focussed. That is, the motivation has been the money I wanted to earn (external outcomes) and the tactics that would get me there. To be fair most of the courses are taught this way and after trying and failing at a number of them I realised that my failure wasn’t due to what the courses were teaching but to a lack of consciousness about what I was doing and why I was doing it.

I’m not alone. Thousands of people have spent thousands of dollars chasing the internet marketing dream but relatively few have succeeded. The money and the ease with which it can be generated attracts us but it is often an habitual reaction to the idea that money will make us happy. Even if that were true, we don’t stop and consider whether or not the promises of the get rich dream is what we want anyway. So we find ourselves chasing a dream that’s not really ours and then feel upset when we don’t succeed.  The consequence of  focussing exclusively on external goals without matching them to our internal values makes it impossible to keep going when the going gets though. So we abandon whatever we’ve been trying and move on to the next shiney, new toy.

Having tired of that I moved back to coaching last year but unwittingly kept loosing the plot when I made the same mistake, albeit in a different arena. Setting exclusively external goals was a road that led to low energy and confusion. But it also led to great learning.

So combining, the lessons of the two I can say that a lack of external structure leaves me directionless, listless and feeling unfulfilled while “enforced” structure, by way of a plan I’ve concocted (or bought) for it’s own sake, leaves me bored , unable to keep my commitments to myself and feeling unfulfilled.

So, I am approaching my year of mentoring differently.

Part of the deal for acceptance on the programme was to agree to create measurable, specific goals. Starting out they will be about building a subscribers list of people who are interested in exploring and consciously creating their lives and who enjoy reading and commenting here.

The mentoring will create a framework within which I can explore and challenge those beliefs/stories I tell myself that hold me back. The numbers will give me something more concrete to measure and to challenge myself with.

Even before the programme started I confronted the discipline of writing (or lack thereof) and committed myself to my 15 minutes a day goal.  And, I noticed my tendency of constantly waiting for something else to happen before I begin and have made choices to start anyway.

I see this year as an opportunity to learn from a master in his field, to take a curious peep into a world I know little of, to hang out with interesting and inspiring people to challenge myself and to keep stepping outside my comfort zone. Internet marketing then becomes the structure within which I can experiment and dance with life. I am excited about what I will create.

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Continuing from planning from the present – a quick recap:  I’m finding that being without direction is very demotivating but the last project I tried to create didn’t keep me on track.
Then, last week, an opportunity occurred that I would normally say “no” to since it’s in the internet marketing (IM) field and I thought I’d left that behind. But recently I’ve been working on my old websites because I’m finding that taking any action is better than moping around or waiting for the discovery of what I really want to do with my life.

So when Ed Dale,  internet marketer extraordinaire, came onto my radar, offering a mentoring programme, I decided to ignore the “nay sayer” voices in my head telling me:

  • you’ve tried that so many times before and it never works
  • he won’t want to work with you
  • you won’t get in anyway
  • you’ll get bored with the work like always and find an excuse to move onto something else
  • blah, blah, blah

and look for all the reasons to say “yes”.

The more I thought about it the more attractive the idea became. A full 12 months when I would know what I was up to, where I would be supported to stay on track, not to mention the expertise of someone on the cutting edge of a field that, no matter how many times I walk away from it, I seem to be drawn back. Maybe this is an opportunity to combine where I’ve been (internet marketing) with where I want to go (coaching).

Interestingly, at the beginning of the Coaching School when Steve suggested I might like to combine the two I was adamant that I would not. My idea of what that would look like was not something that appealed to me at all and I was feeling very jaded with the whole IM scene.

Fast forward 8 months and, with the benefit of all the insights and experience gained during that time I now see the idea very differently. So, I paid my money and applied for the mentoring. I should know if I’ve been accepted onto the programme (it’s very heavily oversubscribed) in a couple of days but I’ve already made a start on a project. I’ll be posting more specifics (web stats and actions, e.g.) on my other blog so as not to bore those Life Moves subscribers who aren’t interested in such things!

Categories : Creating My Life
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Gillian Pearce – Life Moves

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About Life Moves

Life Moves is an unfolding story of my journey to discover and create what I truly want from life. I hope you will find my writings helpful, inspirational, encouraging, amusing or, at the very least, usually worth reading. Please feel free to comment on any posts about which you have an opinion. Or make one up. I do it all the time and it can be very dull, alone in cyberspace.

Bon Voyage!

Gillian