Archive for goal setting
It’s Never About How
Posted by: | CommentsI’ve been very stuck again today. Drifting from one thing to another without conscious intent. Waiting for something to happen to get me into action.
Eventually I moved. Got away from the computer and came outside. And now I am in a local cafe, writing. Not with the computer but “proper” writing with pen on paper. And I wonder how many times I must learn this lesson – to move away from the computer when I start to feel myself drifting. To do something different when my energy starts to drop. Ah well, I’m here now and that’s what counts.
Yesterday I signed up for Michel Neill’s ‘Create The Impossible in 30 Days’ program. The idea is you choose an “impossible” project to take on this July which you believe you have a less than 50% chance of success within the 30 days of the program. Yesterday I was energised by the sheer audacity of my goal but today the “who do you think you are?”/”get real” voices are clamouring for attention and my energy has plummeted.
I am bogged down in the “how to” of the goal – how can I possibly achieve this at anytime, let alone in 30 days? – but I am reminded that it’s never about the “how to”. It’s always about the “want to”. So what I’m really saying is “I don’t want this goal”, yet. So does this mean I’m not ready for the goal? No, it means I’m not committed to it. So I need to recommit and then take some action that demonstrates this commitment.
Are you letting the “how to” of a goal stop your progress? If so, ask yourself if you really want it. If you do recommit and take action. If you’re not sure then let it go for now and move on to something you really do want.
Create A Fearless Plan For Your Day
Posted by: | CommentsIt is easy to live a distracted life of chaos, where I feel swamped and I’m suffering in so many small distracting ways, and soon I’m a victim. That is the easiest way to live. That is the easiest way for humans in our society to live: to be swamped, to be overwhelmed, to be overworked, to feel like a victim. And suffer.
Especially those of us who have our own businesses, because when we have our own business, we really could work 24 hours a day. Or so we always think. We would have plenty to do. If we could find a way to stay alert and awake for 24 hours, we would work 24 hours. We wouldn’t run out of things to do. But that’s the problem. It is being indiscriminate, it’s being unwilling to have a ruthless, focused powerful plan. Like a magnifying glass in the meadow in the summer focusing a sunbeam on a dry leaf. THAT would be my most successful day.
But we get distracted. Our fears tug at our hearts. Small fears. Like “I might upset him if I don’t call him right back.” Soon I am lost. Distraction. It’s the biggest problem anybody-especially anybody having their own business-the biggest problem anybody has. Because if you work for someone else, there will be some structure there and there will be some other people monitoring your every move, so that they make sure you’re on course. But if you work for yourself every moment presents a whole new choice. You can do anything at any given moment. And very few people are committed enough to success (or awake enough to how it happens) to create a fearless plan for the day. But that’s the real answer right there: create a fearless plan for your day. Then work it with great heart and wisdom and love.
My Return To Coaching
Posted by: | CommentsWell I didn’t get to play around with any ideas because by the time we’d had dinner, I was ready for bed. I loved being around the other peeps in my coaching group though. This is a positive manifestation of something I’ve been wanting – to spend more time around people who want to play a bigger game and who inspire me. So, seems like using this blog to get clear about what I want and then creating that is definately working.
I awoke at 2.00 a.m. this morning and had a major breakthrough but can’t for the life of me remember what it was. I didn’t want to get out of bed to write it down because I thought that might keep me awake but, as it happens, I didn’t get back to sleep anyway so I might as well have done. This sleep deprived, jetlagged state is having an interesting effect. I seem to be in that just waking state, where clarity often happens, much more than usual. Anyway whatever the breakthrough was it doesn’t matter because I’ve had another one. 
I was concerned that I would go back to the UK without an action plan. I wanted something to be working on, other than just my process, when I returned. But everything I thought of felt manufactured and not natural. I was puzzled as to how I could turn this ‘blogging to my new life’ process into something I could work with with coaching clients. What would I say I was doing and how could I explain how that would help them?
Then I just decided that I would run a workshop for 100 people around the topic that everything you need to know to move forward in your life is in your right now – as long as you take action and are willing to tell the truth.
I can design a workshop around that, using my own experience for inspiration. This will get over the problem I was having with how I would have “coaching conversations” with perspective clients. I just couldn’t envision that but I can imagine a workshop that has been created from my own experience.
So, there you have it, when I share with the group later, what I want to achieve in the next 6 months, I have something to start with that excites me and feels right and more importantly, reflects where I am in my own life right now. That takes away alot of the fear and allows me to be more authentic.
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4.30 p.m.
Well, the workshop is over and what a wonderful experience it has been. I’m really excited about the next 6 months.
Jim Manton gave a talk about the work he does with transitions and transformation and his description of the people he works with exactly matches my dream clients. He also acknowledged my courage for turning up at the workshop, not really knowing what to expect but taking the risk of answering a calling. I felt really validated by that.
Sharing what our goals for the next 6 months was a toughy for me. It was hard to listen to the others who had concrete numbers that they wanted to achieve, either in terms of income or new clients and I had to fight to hold onto what I’m trying to create. But I decided to use this opportunity as another test of my commitment to step up and speak my truth.
I stood at the front of the room, to face my fear of being seen, and shared my goals for the next 6 months. I had to stop a couple of times to let my tears subside but I did it. Stepping outside my comfort zone was the important bit. The quality of my performance was incidental.
I was surprised that Steve mostly focussed on the commitment of writing one blog post a day with less emphasis on the workshop idea. It’s hard to imagine that one blog post will be enough but I’m happy to go with that and continue to record the process and look at some of the quatum stuff again. Actually, the first thing he pointed out was that I had shifted from considering the idea of returning to coaching to making a commitment to making that happen.
One of my 6 month goals is to be earning money for my coaching services before my return to Phoenix in December. Whether that will be via a workshop or in individual clients has yet to be determined.
So . . . now I’m waiting for 5.30 p.m. when 3 of us will be going into town for dinner. Then 2 more days here and then home.
Intention versus Commitment
Posted by: | CommentsIt’s easy to confuse intention and commitment. It’s often easier to want something than to actually get it. I’ve seen this time and time again both in myself and in my coaching clients. We say we want something but then don’t even begin to do what’s necessary to make it happen. A couple of reasons for this are:
What we say we want is not really what we’re after
What we’re really after is the result; what our yearnings would bring us, rather than the thing itself. We might say we want to earn 100K per year. But the 100k is not really what we’re after. What we really want is more freedom to do the things that matter to us, for example. But if we look more deeply we’re likely to discover that some of those things we could be doing right now. We don’t actually need the 100K salary to start them but we’re not doing them. And that’s because . . .
We Are Afraid of Change
We might say we want to earn 100K and that, looking deeper, we want this because we want more freedom. But, because we’re afraid of the change required of us we continue to wait, remain stuck and dream of the things we think we want. This is intention without commitment.
As an example, for a long time now I’ve been feeling disatisfied about my life in general, and about my work in particular. I’ve set many goals aimed at changing things but none have succeeded. I believe that’s because I had the intention to make the change but not the commitment. True change always requires stepping ourside our comfort zones and basically I’ve been saying, I’m disatisfied with my life, I want to make some changes, but I don’t want to experience any discomfort, doubt, failure or fear. Consequently, nothing has changed.
This time, however, I’m truly willing to move forward. Writing this blog is a demonstration of that.
Last week, someone I know, told me they’d been reading this blog and I was mortified. I even blushed! Whereupon another friend asked me why on earth I would write a blog if I didn’t want anyone to read it. The answer is simple. At this point I’m writing for me. But by making my thoughts/story public (even if I’m secretly hoping nobody is reading them) I’m reinforcing my commitment to making changes in my life. I am facing my fear of “being seen”. I am exploring the process of change in order to help me stay committed to it. Also, the element of being witnessed (albeit only a potential for now) makes it more real for me.
I heard an interesting quote on the Women Who Wow website where Michelle Pippin says “True commitment is evidenced by a structure that supports the results that you say you’re committed to”. This blog is a part of that structure. The key point in the quote is the bit: “that you SAY you’re committed to”.
You’re not really committed until you’ve proved it by putting in place a supporting structure. Until you do, anything you think you want remains an intention without the power of true commitment and, consequently, is unlikely to materialise.
What structures have you put in place that take you closer to your dreams?
