Archive for searching

Nov
12

Who Am I? With a Twist

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I was getting a bit bogged down this afternoon and growing dangerously close to struggling again so came to my blog to have some fun. But, horror of horrors, I didn’t have a “fun” category. So decided to rectify that immediately.

Dipping into my Inspiration file, I chose this video to start the ball rolling. Never fails to make me laugh.

Categories : Fun
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So much has been written about finding your purpose, discovering your true passion or living your calling and, over the years I’ve read many books and articles and attended seminars in the hope that I would discover just what, exactly, my true purpose is. I somehow thought that if I knew what this mystical thing was I could then dedicate my life to it and live happily ever after. But, I see now, that that seeking was a subtle form of abdicating responsibility.

Unconsciously, I was acting from a wish, if I could only find my soul purpose, I wouldn’t have to choose what I wanted to do. My calling would tell me what to do and I wouldn’t get it wrong. There’s an external feel to this – something outside of me that calls me to it. Something separate from my self. But, I suspect, that true purpose has to arise from within. Not be pulled in from outside.

So, that seems to leave me with 2 choices. I can wait until I’ve done the inner work and have discovered what my calling is or I can get on with my life and choose an, apparently, less grand purpose that develops and changes over time. I say “apparently” because I have it mentally set up that finding your purpose is a big deal and should lead to such lofty goals as world peace or otherwise changing the world.

Interestingly, when I mentioned to my coach that “all” I seemed to be up to at the moment was mothering, being in a relationship, being a friend etc., his response was “Proud and admirable purposes, all. They inspire courage, creativity and spirit”. Yet, to me, they often don’t seem enough.

“You don’t find your purpose, you create it”, he says. “Or you don’t. And you don’t have to”.

So, having freed myself from the finding your purpose diversion, I will get back to creating my life. I will shift my focus to answering the question – “what would I enjoy doing?” and then experiment with the answers.

~~~~~~~~~~~

This little gem on the subject amused me – “Lancelot told Arthur that he heard Camelot’s call from far off France. He was called to the Round Table. But was he? Or did he choose it? He could have gone fishing in Scotland instead”.

Categories : Creating My Life
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Jul
21

Where is the Certainty?

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I’ve just read the Week 3 Reports from Steven Chandler’s Coaching School. It’s ironic that he introduced them by saying “week three’s reports are really FUN to read” because when I finished  reading them I ended up weeping uncontrollably for about 10 minutes – not my idea of fun!

As part of the School each attendee sends in a report, once a week, and then Steve gives us some coaching on what’s been happening and sends them all back to us as one document. So we get our own coaching and also to see what’s being said to the other group members (9 of us in all).

As I was reading through this morning I found myself grabbing something that had been suggested to another member of the group, then snatching something else that was written for someone else and growing progressively more confused because it seemed like one thing was being said to one person and something else to another. I wanted some certainty about what I should do next but I wasn’t finding any answers.

Then came my own coaching, part of which was “We create it all. All the moments. All the things we later label as “important” versus what we label as unimportant.  . . .  So all the labeling we do is usually out of habit, not accuracy.”

And I was left floundering. I’d been feeling that certain “important” things that had been happening over the past 3 weeks were “signs” that I was doing it right. By grabbing at the actions suggested to other group members I was attempting to find more ways to “get it right”. So where did that leave me? Sobbing. That’s where. Feeling lost and lonely.

So I got up and walked around. (Movement always works wonders for shifting your emotional state and I thoroughly recommend it.)

I came back and decided to focus on MY coaching and forget about what had been said to the rest of the group, for the time-being. So I copied and pasted all Steve’s responses to my reports into one document.

There was one theme running through consistently -you’re doing a good job with the blog. Keep at it. So, that’s good. I’m managing that!

But there the consistency appeared to end.

Last week I’d spoken about how I wanted to do things my way and building my coaching practice through the blog was my way – as opposed to actively going out and making proposals. Steve’s response to that was “It IS doable. Totally doable. I can’t tell you how many people contact me for coaching because they have just read something in my blog. And other people, too, have built their entire worlds around how popular and useful and inspiring their blogs are. Is it doable? VERY!”

However, in response to my report this week Steve said “I recommend you keep looking for real people to engage with person to person”. My intial reaction to that was that this was contradictory to what he’d said last week. However, I could do this by responding to readers comments on the blogs and, even if, I interpreted it to mean that I look for real people to engage with FACE TO FACE, it’s still not contradictory since things have moved on since last week.

Only yesterday I’d decided that building interest and community through blogging alone was a longer term strategy than I wanted. My experience with one of my clients this week was so good that I wanted more of it. And sooner rather than later. So I went ahead and booked a room so that I can run a mini workshop on August 5th.

So what have I learned from this . . . ?

That looking for the right way is not helpful. Looking for my way is better but only if I remember that this is evolving and changing all the time.

What is certain now can/will change in an instant.

Categories : Life Unfolds
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Jul
09

A Spiral Kind of Life

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My energy levels are neutral this morning – a rise from yesterday first thing. And as the dust has settled I find myself asking again “What is it I truly want”?

I started this blog as an experiment to try and discover what to do next with my life. Through a variety of twists and turns I came back to coaching. And now, I’m  not sure again.

It looks a bit like being back at the beginning but, of course, it isn’t. Life is not a straight line. Or even a circle. It’s a spiral. So maybe I have circled back to the left side, which is where I began, but I am still at a higher level.

So . . . on with the enquiry . . . “What is it I truly want”?

Categories : Mood
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When the song “I still haven’t found what I’m looking for” first came out I used to sing it like a mantra. Lots of intensity and heart on my sleeve sort of stuff. “Oh, woe is me – I still haven’t found what I’m looking for, but
aren’t I a great person because I’m searching hard and trying hard and one day I’ll find it.

But now I wonder “what was this ‘it’ I thought I was going to find”.

In the days when I was single ‘it’ was a man. In the days when I felt overweight ‘it’ was a slimmer, sleeker body. And often ‘it’ was more money. Thing is I never found what I was looking for because as soon as I did, I started looking for something else.

When I first started consciously on the path of ‘personal development’ I spent a lot of time looking for THE answer. I would attend the latest seminar or read the latest book and decide that that was the ways things worked or, more often than not, that that was what was wrong with me. I’d follow the ‘expert’ advice for a few months and then discover holes in the theory or find it didn’t work for me.

Then, one day, having grown weary of searching for lofty goals I realised that all I wanted was a way to live my life that worked for me.

I didn’t want enlightenment, or to grow back my missing teeth (yes, I worked with one ‘leader’ who was attempting to do that). I didn’t want to live in a permanent state of bliss or surrender my body to alien walk-ins. (yep, I went to one of those seminars too – just curious!)

All I wanted, was a way to live my life that worked for me.

What I didn’t realise then was that this still left me searching for ‘a way’. By attending seminars, reading books etc. I was still looking at someone else’s way. It still left me vulnerable to cultural pressure and the assumptions and beliefs I’d formed due to my personal experience of life. Unconsciously, I was still being dictated to by outside influences.

Now, I’ve shifted into wanting to live my life IN a way that works for me. That’s a subtle difference. That brings my life back to the present and in this moment, there’s no-one else’s way but my own. I might choose to experiment with things I’ve learned from others but as long as I’m trying them out IN my life I’m still living my own life – making adjustments day to day.

My life is not so much about what happens in the future or what I believed in the past. It’s about how I live my life, today, in this moment.

Categories : Life Unfolds
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Life Moves Archives

Gillian Pearce – Life Moves

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About Life Moves

Life Moves is an unfolding story of my journey to discover and create what I truly want from life. I hope you will find my writings helpful, inspirational, encouraging, amusing or, at the very least, usually worth reading. Please feel free to comment on any posts about which you have an opinion. Or make one up. I do it all the time and it can be very dull, alone in cyberspace.

Bon Voyage!

Gillian