Comments on: When You Don’t Know What You Want

By: Nicole

Nicole — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 21:48:53 +0000

Wow. I thought I was the only one who felt this way! I thought I was feeling like something wrong and I couldn’t really identify what was wrong. You’ve basically put into words everything I’ve been thinking and feeling. It’s so nice to know that there are others who feel that another way is appropriate and that every way is individual. It’s about your own path and the way you tackle the path is not for anyone else to decide but you.

By: Sally

Sally — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 22:21:28 +0000

I have heard it is better to travel hopefully than to arrive. One person I knew once told me he had achieved a lot on his life but what had I achieved? My answer was that I was a good mother, a good friend and happy in myself. He on the other hand had cheated his way to the top, made no friends and was living off a 25 year prior success. He was empty of personal pride and sense of completion. My point is that there is no point in striving for one great moment in life if in doing so you miss the pleasure in living for the moment. It is better to do what ever you are doing well than to cheat or take short cuts in the hope of some future achievement. Focus on living well rather than purely on your future ambitions. It is also possible your efforts will be rewarded in ways you could never have imagined.

By: gillian

gillian — Mon, 25 Jul 2011 14:40:43 +0000

Hi Vanny

Thanks for taking the time to leave a comment. It’s hard to believe that it’s been almost 2 years since I wrote that blog post!

One thing I’ve realised in that time that’s helped me relax around this issue is:

There is no “right” path. There is only the path. And whether it is right or wrong is just a thought.

Hmmmm. You’ve got me thinking now. Maybe it’s time to resurrect the blog . . .

Best Wishes To You
Gillian

By: Vanny

Vanny — Sun, 24 Jul 2011 15:16:26 +0000

Hi Gillian,
Hope you are well and you’ve already found what makes your life important and makes really sense to live it.
I came upon your website surfing in the net being one year and a half in that situation: Dont know what can makes my life positive and exiting and what can makes me really satisfied coming back home from work every evening.
I have my 10 years dream real: to come and live in the UK,but all of a sudden I was stuck which way is the best way of my life and career.
I am a medical doctor with a 14 years career. I found that to cure only a patients body is not enough for me as a result and help to this person. May be it sounds strange,but that’s my point of view. Coming in the UK I found really difficult to find a job as medical doctor,because of admin restrictions,but in my heart I was not sure weather I want to go for this path or not.
As you said there are many things that might excite me as a career path. I want to choose the right path. My inside energy waits me to pull the trigger,but I dont know what best suits me. I want to create and develop .Problem is …the right path.
Thank you shared your thoughts. I feel much better now knowing I am not alone.
wish you all the luck in the world !

By: Ivan

Ivan — Wed, 23 Feb 2011 11:34:10 +0000

Sounds like a great title for an American style facebook group:

I DON’T KNOW WHAT I WANT IN LIFE AND I AM PROUD OF IT!

By: gillian

gillian — Fri, 21 Jan 2011 10:45:26 +0000

Hello Emma

Sorry to hear you’re feeling pressured by others but I LOVE how you’ve “had a go” anyway. Keep at that and you will find yourself doing and knowing what you want more and more often.

I agree. Thinking about it doesn’t work. Too much head stuff just keeps you going round in circles. Deciding what to do from a good feeling place, in the present, is so much more fun.

Sounds like you’re making great choices for yourself.

Thanks for taking the trouble to comment.

Best Wishes
Gillian

By: emmabee

emmabee — Mon, 27 Dec 2010 19:40:38 +0000

I’m 20 years old and i’ve been getting a lot of pressure from my parents and other people to decided what i want to do with my life but i don’t know and the more i try to think about it the more lost, helpless, frustrated and confused i feel, thinking about it just isn’t working at all no matter how long and hard i try to think, nothing. I’ve done a few things that id never want to miss out on, went to edinburgh on my birthday to meet John Green (an authour and youtuber), got my books signed and i just left everyone else behind because nobody i knew would share this time with me and it was a great day and adventure for me, i just decided to forget everyone else because they are only holding me back, it’s my life, i met so many amazing people too. My parents keep telling me i cant always do what i want and it’s like they’re saying don’t bother trying ether, that’s just so negative and down putting especially if i get an idea of something id like to try to do, no wonder i have no idea what i want to do. I’m just not going to try and think about it and do what i feel in the present.

By: gillian

gillian — Fri, 29 Oct 2010 09:13:02 +0000

Hi Liz

Thanks so much for commenting. As I said in another comment I’ve been writing on a different blog for a while now. That’s why I’ve only just seen your comment.

I can’t even remember what the “4 weeks” you refer to were all about. I’ll have to go back and read my posts

There’s so much pressure in school to know what it is you want to do and it can seem hard when you don’t. I always envied those people who knew what they wanted, did the training and then got the job. But that was never really me. For a start there were always so many things that interested me.

The trick is not to turn “not knowing” into a negative. Especially when there are so many messages around you that say you “should” know. Not knowing what you want can be a great adventure and life becomes a wonderful experiment.

If I can support you in anyway please feel free to contact me.

Best Wishes
Gillian

By: gillian

gillian — Fri, 29 Oct 2010 09:03:45 +0000

Hi Lynda

Good to hear from you. I wrote on a different blog for a while – http://internetmarketingcoachingyear.com – but haven’t done so for a while and am now toying with the idea of restarting this one.

Dealing with just the next step is a challenge. And also a great adventure. Especially for one as caught up in her thoughts as I.

Backing up and updating this blog seems a pretty dull “coffee spoon”. I yearn for more adventure . . .

Much love
Gillian

By: Lynda

Lynda — Wed, 04 Aug 2010 20:42:49 +0000

Hey you

Hello again. Good to read your blog. Lovely courageous writing.

“Can I use what is in my life now to propel me into the future without having to know what future it is I want to create?”

I reckon it’s the only way. Anyone who thinks they know what is round the corner or where they’re going next is probably kidding themself (is this a word?). And isn’t living fully in their present moment and doesn’t get that (the spirit of) life is bigger than all of us and full of ‘surprises;’ the ‘signs of life’ which the wise respond to in the moment. Futures are created by what we do in this moment . . and the next . . and the next, not by life plans or vision boards. TS Elliott said life is measured out in coffee spoons. All we need to do next is deal with the next coffee spoon, as you say – act! now! – and life takes care of itself!

‘commitment with detachment’ says it all really!

Much love,

Lynda