Working Better

You’re Not Confused – You’re Scared

Phew. What a day. And it’s not over yet!

Yesterday evening I sent in my “homework” for the coaching school which seems to have triggered another couple of breakthroughs. By the time I woke up this morning I needed to add an addendum because I’d already moved on from where I was last night and then, during the course of a conversation with a client, I had another breakthrough and realised that something I’d been puzzling over wasn’t an “either or” but an “and and”.

I felt a split between creating my coaching pratice “my way” and doing the usual marketing things like asking for referrals etc. But I was a bit suspicious about my confusion since feeling confused is always a cover up for being scared. So I asked myself “if creating my coaching practice the traditional way was the right thing to do, what would I do next”? And I realised that the thing I would do next, in this case putting up a web page describing the services I was offering, felt pretty terrifying to me. Now I knew I was on to something. So I decided then and there that, by the end of today, I would have just such a webpage up on my new site.

I’d brought a fear into consciousness and I wanted to see if I could blast through it. To help me I tapped into my spirit of adventure and came from a place of curiosity and not knowing rather than from a place of thinking this is the right thing to do. I allowed myself space to see what happens next (an approach that inspires me) and to sit in the not-knowing.

After much resistance which took the form of wandering around shops, returning library books and feeling way too tired to start writing anything I finally sat myself down, in a cafe and just put pen to paper. Once I’d written 4 paragraphs, that I wasn’t at all happy with, the words began to flow. And now I have a page written and ready to go live on the web.

It’s rough and unlikely to stay in it’s present form but it’s a start. The goal was to take action and thereby neutralise a fear, which is what I’ve done. And now I’m really curious to see what happens next.

If you’re confused about something can you get to the fear that is underneath? Can you choose to neutralise that fear by applying curiosity and creativity?

Please leave a comment and let me know how it goes.


  • steve chandler

    Hey Gillian,

    I love this post……and I agree, we hide behind confusion. You are
    a great example of JUST DO IT. And you’re a wonderful writer.
    Keep blogging. And save your blogs because they will be the basis
    of a quite wonderful book.